In the next several posts, we’ll take a look at the 5 worst divorce mistakes you can make, as compiled by family law attorneys and marriage counselors across America. If you’re seeking a divorce, or the process has already begun, we hope these words of advice can help you avoid the pitfalls of the end of matrimony. Last time, we looked at Mistake #2: Bragging About the New Beau (or Belle). This is the third in our series.
MISTAKE #3: SHARING IS (UN)CARING
Family counselors say having confidants to share the stresses of a divorce with is important. Being able to find comfort and support in close friends and family members will help you get through the emotional trials and travails of ending a marriage. But you have to draw the line somewhere. Sharing too much is harmful – especially if you can’t refrain from posting your deepest thoughts on your Facebook page or Twitter account. There’s danger in sharing too much private information on social media. Some of it may even come back to haunt you in court. Don’t assume Facebook’s privacy settings are keeping your ramblings, well, private. Legal eagles stress that anything you write on the Internet – whether on a “private” page or not – is going to be seen by the world. It is not only discoverable – in the legal sense – but likely to be discovered or passed along or shared by family, friends, or other acquaintances. It can be fuel for harmful gossip that can fly against your chances in court.
Anyone will agree it’s important to have a support system when going through a divorce. But have caution, experts say. Talking to anyone who will listen usually results in your personal information making it back to your spouse, or even into court. Mutual friends can accidentally disclose important strategies and information about your divorce case while trying their best not to take sides between the two of you. And helpful friends trying to give “helpful” advice based on another friend’s or relative’s or coworker’s or someone they saw on TV and their divorce can be the grounds of misleading and needless information. Their best caring intentions may prove to be uncaring, after all.
If you have concerns make sure you discuss them with a reputable and reliable attorney like you’ll find through our web site. Beware of “Divorce TMI” – too much information.
Divorce TMI follows you when you leave the house and the first stop is usually the workplace. “Water cooler talk with your coworkers about your divorce is not a way to quench your desire to move on,” said divorce expert and blogger Lois Tarter. “On Monday morning, nobody really wants to hear about the weekend you spent arguing with your ex. (When you become) divorced, it’s more important than ever remain focused on your job. You may now be on your own financially and need to support your children if you’re a single parent,” Tarter adds. “Remember, word travels fast at the workplace. If you begin to complain about your divorce it will spread and people will think you’re not in control. You don’t want your boss to start worrying about your ability to perform.”