Conversation, the glue to meaningful relationships

Meaningful conversation- the glue that holds your relationship together- should be easy with someone you love. In fact, according to a report by Psychological Science, couples report they are happier when they spend more time discussing meaningful topics than engaging in small talk.

The report concluded that those with the greatest amount of satisfaction “spent only 10 percent of their conversation on small talk, while the unhappiest subjects kept 28.3 of their talking time in the shallow end.”

So what does meaningful conversation do for your relationship? It allows you to bond and develop interpersonal connections with your partner. Something most of us believe is at the core of happiness. Surprisingly, however, there are many people that seem utterly unable to engage in good conversation. Talking too much, not listening, planning what you are going to say while the other person is talking, taking too long to make your point, not reading the other person’s body language and talking about things nobody cares about may all be part of the problem. Another issue could be an individual’s inability to open up, to be honest, to be vulnerable and tell the other person how they feel.

So what conversations do happy couples have?

According to LoveBuz, there are several topics that the happiest people love to discuss. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Political opinions

Many people say to avoid all political talk, but what you believe politically says a lot about you. If someone tells you they are a Democrat you immediately make assumptions. Although some of these may be incorrect, it can help the other person understand you better. Do you have to agree on everything? No, but remember, every difference is a compromise.

2. Fears and insecurities

Discussing fears and insecurities allows you to be honest about your vulnerabilities. It helps your partner understand why you make certain decisions and what motivates you? Are you scared of rejection? Has a previous spouse or partner cheated on you? Are you afraid if you’re honest your partner won’t love you? Tell your spouse and let them encourage and support you.

3. Childhood

You are the totality of everything, good or bad, that has ever happened to you. Every experience helps you grow, change, and develop. You may hate that your mother died when you were only 20 years old, but guess what, most likely that taught you wonderful lessons, lessons you wouldn’t have learned otherwise. When my mother died I found I suddenly had a greater empathy for those who had suffered similar loss, an empathy I could use to encourage those who were hurting.

6. Spiritual Views

Because one’s spiritual views can impact everything else in their life: how they view commitment and marriage, how many children they want to have, how to rear their children, and divorce, it’s important that one of your first discussions you have with a potential partner is about spirituality. Consider also, many religions prohibit marriage to someone who is not of like faith. This is better to find out sooner rather than later.

Remember, conversation is key. It is the spice of life. Spending time with someone who doesn’t listen to you or understand you will leave you empty and alone.