Divorce and Children

Child Support, Parental Rights, and Child Custody Law are part of a Divorce with Children

Getting a divorce is never an easy process. Add children into the mix and the emotional and financial toll can get even worse. Besides taking care of your needs, you have to safeguard your children’s financial and emotional futures as well. Getting a divorce when you have children makes it even more difficult.

Children Get Confused During Divorces

Guiding your children through the confusing and frightening period will be difficult. Understand that your children may be confused and scared about the changes that will face your family. Don’t get preoccupied with your own problems; help your children to understand that they are not responsible for the conflicts that ended their parents’ marriage. Share the plans for the future as soon as possible. Uncertainty about their security can lead to devastating results.

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As a parent, you must be committed to the ongoing well being of your children. Understanding how your divorce is affecting your children and how to deal with the effects is essential. No matter how you feel about your spouse as you end your marriage, they will always be your children’s mother or father. You will always have some connection to them through your children.

Emotional Needs

Your children will have emotional needs that will need to be met in the divorce process. It will be a confusing and rock time for them. You may have to move, they might have to change schools, make new friends. Those aren’t easy changes on their own, by adding the fact that their parents will not be living together anymore you add another level of stress.

Uncertainty is the enemy in these situations. Be as open and honest with your children as possible. Tell them that you and your spouse will always be there for them, but you just can’t all live together anymore. You have to help your children understand that both of their parents will be involved in their lives, even though they will not be married to one another anymore.

You shouldn’t use your children as counselors for your problems during the divorce. Discussing your spouse’s faults with the children is not a good idea. No matter how mature you believe your children are, they are not equipped to comfort or console you.

Tips on Helping Children During Divorce

Here are some tips that might help when telling your children about your divorce:

  • You and your spouse should tell them together.
  • Don’t wait until the last minute to tell them.
  • Explain that the divorce is not their fault.
  • Be reassuring, but be honest that the divorce will be sad and upsetting for everyone.

Keep a close eye on your children for signs of stress. Their school work may suffer. They may show signs of depression or have trouble with self-esteem. They may become uncooperative or aggressive. You should seek the help of a professional therapist if you notice any of these signs.

Legal and Financial Questions

There will be many legal and financial questions that you and your spouse will have to consider when getting a divorce. Will you share custody of your children? If not, which one of you will have primary custody? Will one of you have to pay child support? Which of you will be responsible for providing health insurance for the children? And that is just a start.

Even the simplest questions about your children can turn into protracted battles if you allow emotions to rule the discussions. Having an attorney to help craft a custody agreement will allow you and your ex-spouse to understand your roles and responsibilities. Defining the necessities can make dealing with the details much easier. Layout what you will expect from one another as parents and allow for some changes to be made along the way.

Financial issues can be big sticking points in a divorce. Having an attorney can help with your negotiations. Getting a fair and equitable agreement in place will go a long way to helping your build a civil relationship with your ex-spouse, which is critical to raising your children together.